You and your spouse are planning a collaborative divorce, so you hope things will go smoothly because you’re willing to work together. What really worries you, though, is life after divorce. You planned on staying in this marriage for life. That is not going to happen. How do you move forward?

One potential option is to invest your energy in things that you loved as an individual, before you got married. For instance, perhaps you loved to travel, but you had to curtail your trips because of your spouse’s work schedule. Once the divorce is over, take a trip by yourself and rediscover how exciting travel can be.

Similarly, you may want to focus on new things that have always interested you but you never had the time to pursue them. It could be something simple — a new haircut, tattoo or outfit. A more drastic change could be your moving to a new town or starting a new career. Focus on yourself. Learn to love yourself and take some chances.

As you do this, it is also important to know that it is all right to mourn the loss of your marriage. It takes time to work through these feelings after the split. Life is changing. Just make sure that after you finish mourning what you lost, you open yourself up to an exciting future full of fresh opportunities and promise.

The outcome of your divorce can drastically impact that future on many levels. Make sure you know all of the legal steps that you will need to take.